Stir Fry Alahoy

Sa Bahay 025
Originally uploaded by JetD

A LULLABY FOR LITTLE JAMIE

tic tic toc

tic tic toc

it's time to sleep my prince of the flock

all of the stars are shining for you

the moon awaits to cradle you and

tic tic toc

tic tic toc

come to my arms my prince of the flock

our time together is precious and few

tomorrow waits for you...

He was with us in the unit for about 2 months. He has become special to me. At first it was a tune I hummed to him. And then it became this song, this lullaby. In my heart I know it helped him. He had problems... and he cried a lot.

It's been a month since he left us and I miss him so much. Funny thing is I can't bring myself to sing this song to another baby. It just doesn't feel right.

He's probably in a foster home now. I hope he is. And I hope he found some really good people.

I hope he found some who will hum him a tune.

EVERYTHING BUT THANKLESS

Nobody said it was going to be easy. Work, after all, is work. If it had been easy, it would be a vacation, or a hobby, or that something you surely will be doing if you had a little more luck.

My job is not easy, and I say that with a multifaceted meaning. The days and the hours hold no charm in them. (So you want to have lunch with me? Sure! I'm free a month from now. Oh wait a minute... I'd be working the night before. Shall we make it dinner instead?)

My job absolutely has no trace of glamor in it. I deal with the three P's of humanity... pee, poop,and puke. Colored scrubs... or forget colored... 'scrubs' are the most blessed things that the human think tank has ever conceived of. That it is hardly ever white these days reeks of compassion for us who do our labor donned in them.

In my job, it is a never-ending quest for the new thing, the new trend, the better procedure, the safer practice. To this end, it is a never-ending quest for knowledge and skills. We have to be tested, again and again, even on the things we might have already been doing for the past 5, 10 or 15 years. And no matter how much we may already know, there is always something we still haven't heard of, or done, or experienced. We can never be too smug in a situation where the percentage of error is crucially 0. We are always conscious of the fact that we are dealing with human lives. Ironically, we will never be strong enough or sane enough to keep doing this if we are not able to acknowledge the fact that we are still human after all, and prone to errors. We have to be able to forgive ourselves time and again, and vow to do better the next time around.

I have earlier on made peace with the fact that for so long as I am in this job, I will have to forego spending Christmas and New Year with my family back in the Philippines. It would have been tricky if my husband and I put in a lot of weight to whipping up really grand vacations with stuffed itineraries and travel arrangements that move like clockwork. So we have taught ourselves to be happy with whatever works and well, I think it is a fortunate thing to find out that whatever works actually really works.

There will always be nights when I wish I could just stay home and do the most insouciant, and therefore the most fun things, like cuddling on the couch as Jay and I try our best to empty the tevo to make room for a fresh batch of recorded shows 'for future use.' Or if Jay has something more compelling to do like going for a run under the sweltering sun for instance, there's lots of ways I could entertain myself on the internet..... oh, lots of ways, I got to tell you. These activities help me recharge. They serve as a kind of reset button which fires up flesh, bone, will and sanity so I could deal with the real world with a smile again.

Well, sometimes something like this crosses your path and you don't exactly have the words for it but it sure helps you believe you're doing the right thing...

Jay picked me up from work this morning and on the way home, we stopped by Ralph's, as planned, cause we wanted to grill some pork chops for a late lunch. We were out of eggs too so I went to get some. As I was methodically picking up one egg after the other from a tray, making sure that nothing was cracked or spoiled, a woman came up and picked up a tray herself. We looked at each other and smiled, just two random women recognizing each other for the smart consumer we were. She looked at my green hoodie which identified me as a NICU nurse and remarked, 'You're a nurse at the NICU?'

'Guilty as charged,' I answered with a smile.

That was all she needed. And then she went on to relate how her son was born with a low birth weight and had to spend some time in the NICU, how he had to reach 4lbs. before she could take him home, and how the NICU nurses were the most amazing people she and her son had known.

'Forget the doctors.' she said, ' sometimes they can't even be bothered. You are the ones who are with our babies 24/7 and you never run out of patience and gentleness. We see how you hold our babies and we go home from a visit thinking our little ones will be fine right where they are cause you guys are there.'

I was stunned to silence, not because what the woman was telling me was the great big thing that held the answers to life's biggest questions, but because there was absolutely no prelude to it. I was just there for the eggs. 

I had no idea what hit me but I could only smile in gratitude.

AN AFTER VALENTINE SONG

but what if I told you I didn't need the roses,

or the chocolates if there had been any,

or the diamonds if it ever came to that?

roses wilt and die

chocolates will make me fat

and diamonds get stolen

do you not know the gift I have every morning

when I open my eyes and uncover you

the ribbon I unravel is the life we have together

how you held my hand and led me through

days that may not have always been easy but were always with a purpose

hours you lovingly filled with laughter

minutes you joyously colored with love

years that saw us evolve into better versions of ourselves

I rip through layers upon layers

of the little things you do

that with constancy become this big way about you

that tells me you love me

'always have, always will' as you always say

and in the midst of it all is the you that has shown me

how much I could love, how well, how deep

how much of myself I could become, how strong, how precious

how beautiful we could be, how better... together

and the possibilities excite me still

tremendously

endlessly

we were never big on Valentine's Day

and so I write these lines, my gift to you

the day after

the many days after

for always...

I love you.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!






Mec did this for us. Now all the Berks have it in their blogs! Friends are such great treasures to have, don't you think?

But even greater than that is having somebody call you up first thing in the morning, as you wrap up the night's work to greet you 'Happy Valentine's Day.' It cancels out the fact that he's in another state and you can't be with him till a day late. It can even wipe away the aching back and droopy eyes and the once-again empty house you'll be going home to. Years have gone by and these little things still outweigh whatever big thing threatens to serve the love on a cold plate.

It's always the little things that are actually not so little that fill up the heart... like putting pictures together, like a phone call.

WELCOME BACK, MR. BATJAY!

no sushi here but lots of mushi mushi! :)

GIRLFRIENDS

old friends sat on their park bench like bookends,
a newspaper blown through the grass
falls on the round toes of the old shoes of the old friends
old friends, winter companions
the old men lost in their overcoats,
waiting for the sunset
the sounds of the city sifting through trees
settle like dust on the shoulders of the old friends
~Paul Simon

Last weekend was my birthday weekend. Papa and I spent it quietly, soberly at last, after all the wining and dining of the past several weeks. We had a nice Japanese dinner, saw a film afterwards and went to bed.

The following morning, we were up early for our own individual itineraries... Papa to a golf tournament with his old buddy, Mon, and me off shopping... with Mon's wife, Marlene, a girlfriend from long ago, and one with whom I haven't spent times like this with in a long, long while.

We used to be together all the time, back in the Philippines. We'd shop like this together, celebrate our husband's birthdays together, go out of town or just hang out. We even learned to play tennis together... or more accurately, she played and I ambled or stumbled along, whatever the situation called for.

And then things got difficult in our own individual lives and as these things go, we got too busy. And then we moved to Singapore and she and Mon moved to LA. When we moved to Southern California, she had to move back to the Philippines.

But all's well that ends well. We're both here now. Life is a little easier. And although we can get really busy with jobs and life, we're able to have these moments. Old girlfriends... they're the ones who will know you before you've become all polished and cleaned up, they've seen your snot, they know you inside and out... and will still call you by name.

I haven't realized how much I've missed being with an old girlfriend... until now.

Marble # 1766

CECI

In the summer of 2005, we arrived in Southern California with 13 bags in tow and 13 boxes to follow in the next couple of weeks. Unlike some migrants, we weren't worried because a month ahead, Ceci has mailed to us the key to her house.
Nicely packed in our rental, Papa maneuvred the dark, wet streets of Orange County (and they say it never rains in Southern California) easily, thankfully, and we found Ceci's house ready for us and all to ourselves.
The room where we were going to sleep was done in full Ceci regalia... with fresh soft sheets, a rosebud in between the pillows, towels neatly folded by the foot of the bed and with soap and shampoo to boot! I can almost imagine her giving the room a once around, then picking up her bags and setting off to somewhere for a business trip.
The following morning, she called us and said, 'Mi casa es su casa.'
We managed to find an apartment a week after Ceci came back from her trip. And she was ready even for that... with china, sheets, even a mattress... everything to tide us over until we got down to our bearings.
Come December, she took us home to her parents' house for Christmas dinner. And come every holiday after that, we were never left in want for a family to celebrate them with.
Last Saturday, we had a wonderful night at the Abildrens' to celebrate a lot of blessings... Christmas, the new year, Trine's birthday, my birthday and Ceci. She is moving to a new place in the sun, to a new life, to a new love, to new beginnings. 
Whenever I think of her, I believe again that there are angels. She will always be in my heart.
Marble # 1767

A STEP BACK TO SELF

It hasn't been like this for me all the time. I haven't been on a consistent climb up the career ladder. My work history in the Philippines went from ho-hum to great and back to middling. Consequently, my personal finances have mostly been close to non-existent.

But to be really honest, I have always felt that I've had so much to be thankful for in my life, in spite of. I went places, tasted things, met people, experienced much of what the rest could only dream of. Of course I have always been on the receiving end. Some people would often remark on how lucky I was to have the people I had in my life who afforded me these things. Sometimes I'd tell myself privately, 'they're lucky to have me too.' 

Honestly again, there have been times when I have wondered how it was to be able to say, 'I got this one.' or 'This one's on me.' That didn't take away from how much I enjoyed what came my way. I was just happy to be tagging along. And the thing is, because I had nothing, I did not fear anything. I was left blissfully ignorant of the worries that came with those who had anything at all to lose. I did not hanker for the biggest, the best, the latest. I was not victim to what a niece called 'self-inflicted bondage' on account of things that I would have crowded my life with, which in turn, I would have had to struggle to keep up with.

Things are different now. I am no longer blissfully ignorant. This is the part of, 'I got this one.' that nobody told me about. I have learned a few survival tricks like the one that's called 'hang tough,' or one that says 'grim and bear,' and another called 'suffer.' But then through all of it there are some things that grab at you like the most important rudiments that you would value the most when push comes to shove... love, family, relationships, peace of mind, God. One just can't afford to mess up with choices engaging these.

This past weekend involved a lot of fun, time with friends, tasting, wanting, taking and paying. I mean, it's ok. We've worked hard the whole year. We deserve a little. And I guess there are a whole lot of other things we could tell ourselves to convince ourselves that it was ok. We just needed to tune in less to news channels so that reality checks do not cross our pleasure path. Or keep due dates as far back in our minds as we can so it doesn't mar the moment and we don't hand over our plastic cards with trembling hands.

Last night, we were at Barnes & Noble. I had $40 in my purse and the first thing I picked up was a lap desk. Then I picked up a book and I said I was done. But somehow, something wasn't right and I asked Papa, 'What do I need a lap desk for? I mean, I've always wanted one but do I really need it?'

Papa watched as I put it back. And I went home feeling one chain lighter, one step closer to self.

Marble # 1768.

SOMETHING I WISH I COULD DO...

Keyboard, guitar... I don't care. I just wish I could create music as beautiful as this.

Ok, I'm done with music videos. Enough.

HARDLY A NEW YEAR'S BLOG

but I've got some extra time...

and I simply adore her and on the off chance that somebody drops by who hasn't heard about her, I'd like to share...

and if a song can tell a story, I do believe nothing can tell it like this performance does...

so sit back and enjoy

and because I have a new and faster computer...:D

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

GOODBYE 2008... I'M OFF TO BETTER NOW

I'm keeping all the love. You can keep all the rest.

Some people's lives,
Run down like a clock,
One day they stop,
That's all they've got.
Some lives wear out,
Like old tennis shoes,
No one can use.
It's sad, but it's true.
Didn't anybody tell them?
Didn't anybody see?
Didn't anybody love them,
Like you love me?

Some people's eyes,
Fade like their dreams,
Too tired to rise,
Too tired to sleep.
And some people laugh,
When they need to cry,
An' they never know why.
Didn't anybody tell them,
That's not how it has to be?
Didn't anybody love them,
Like you love me?

Some people ask,
If the tears have to fall.
Then why take your chances?
Why bother at all?
And some people's lives
Are as cold as their lips.
They just need to be kissed.
Doesn't anybody tell them?
Doesn't anybody see?
Doesn't anybody love them,
Like you love me?
'Cause that's all they need.

-Janis Ian

1768 MARBLES


2009 is peeking and I can see its pretty little head round the corner. No, I'm not about to make my resolutions... can't even remember the last time I did that. I mean, I don't need to make new year's resolutions. I make them everyday, on the realm of weight management and all that hogwash.

I can't place where I read it from off the top of my head but it's got something to do with every Saturday that we still have left for the rest of our lives and thinking about how we choose to spend it or who to spend it with or how to feel about the day. People have bought marbles, enough to mark every Saturday and put them all in a jar and they take away one marble for every Saturday spent. Those who have gone on in years can actually see the marbles dwindle down to a few handful and there's one I've read who was actually writing his story with the last marble in the jar. Not that he was dying that day but I think there's something about the days breezing by and the time ebbing away becoming so visual that sort of makes one want to take stock and really think about what is most important in one's life and what form one wants it to take... from then onwards.

Why Saturdays? I don't know. It's probably because it's a given that we would work the rest of the week and Sundays are like the day before the start of the week so plans are basically left to a minimum, or to the upkeep of the house or stuff like that. So the way I see it, Saturdays are our personal days, the day of the week that can be left open for choices and presumably the one by which we can sculpt the rest of our life. This may be me romanticizing the whole thing but until someone can convince me of a more pragmatic and believable point of view, then this is it for me.

Saturday... do I spend it with my loved one or do I spend it at work? If I spend it with a loved one, how will I choose it to go? Will we be off somewhere and experience another one of the many firsts together or stay home and cuddle in front of the TV and hit the munchies? And if I have no choice but to be at work, how do I choose to feel about it, how do I make it a pleasant thing or something to look forward to? Either way, how do I make the day meaningful, what can I do so that I grow some from whatever choices I make for that single day?

So yeah, I think I'm going to do the marble for a Saturday thing. At Church last weekend, Pastor Rick said that statistics say that the average lifespan of someone who lives in southern California is now 78 years. That gives me 34 years before I hit the mark and with 52 weeks in a year, that's 1768 Saturdays... and 1768 marbles. That's not a whole lot when I look at the number in the backdrop of a lifetime. I want to see how I can make it worth more than that. You know, like making the parts amount to more than the whole, mathematically or otherwise.

I'm going to start buying my marbles next Friday, after a 6-day run at work... can't tomorrow cause I'm working. Oh, by the way, that also means 1768 blog entries.

Can I blog until I'm 78 years old? Watch me.

OUR BEST LAID PLANS


To say that a lot of our plans have been thwarted time and again is quite an understatement, isn't it? It's been said, and I do believe, that our plans are upset because there are bigger, better, although often more difficult plans laid down for us.

For instance...

all we wanted was to have a place of our own, we never planned for anything as nice as this, but we had it...




we never planned to go places together, the roads we took when we started were hard ones, but oh, the fun we've had...




we never planned to live elsewhere, all we aimed for was to keep the haven we had up in the hills, but look how far we've gone...




we always knew we wanted to live the good life, however vague that idea was to us before, but for a smokin', gulpin', chompin', roarin' punk to have cleaned up his act enough to be running marathons at midlife is something I bet we never planned for either...

And lastly...

I never planned for you in my life. How could I... I never knew the likes of you existed. But here we are...




and I certainly couldn't have planned it better than this...

HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MY LOVE!

I PRAYED FOR YOU, MOM


Dear Father,

Back in the East, my mother would be waking up to her birthday. She would also be spending it for the first time without Dad and for the second time without Diko Jun. It will not be the birthday she used to know when she has not known about such loss. But I know she hopes in You, dear Lord, and she is kept strong by it. I thank You for that.

Please bless her with happiness, with a joy so pure that it will make her remaining days light and free. Bless her with good health and keep her in Your loving protection. Surround her with people who love her and truly care for her. Whisper in her heart how much I do, if my telling her so everyday is not enough.

All these I ask for her in Jesus name. Amen.

SUFFER THE CHILDREN


They called a code white in the hospital last night. There was this kid in PICU who arrested. He was in a car wreck. He was all of 18 months old.

This makes me very, very angry. I have absolutely no words.

There are reasons why children come to our lives. This shouldn't have to be one of them.

ONE HELL OF A LUCKY LADY


I can almost imagine the color draining from my face when I realized my purse was nowhere in the car. I made a quick U-turn before I completely exited the complex and went back to the parking lot. I couldn't make a more emphatic statement than a horizontally parked car spanning the width of 3 parking spaces would regarding the state of my mind when I saw the shopping cart where I left it but not a purse in sight.

I was thinking...

my credit cards...

my debit card...

my driver's license...

my nursing license...

my phone...

what a mess!

I was running into the store when the clerk at the register saw me and said, 'Well, well! I think somebody left something in the parking lot.' And sneered.

I would have plucked his mustache one by one for the condescension in that sneer if I didn't feel like hugging him for having my purse. He asked me my name and asked me where my driver's license was in the purse and all that stuff. He said a lady walking behind me found my purse in the cart and brought it in.

'You're a hell of a lucky lady,' he said. I said, 'Thank you.' I couldn't agree more.

And to you, whoever you are, may God bless you a hundredfold for the whole of your lifetime.

THE GRAND CANYON

I was here

together...

with them...



and it was grand!

Today...


you would have been 81 years old...

and I could have been home to help you celebrate it...

instead I'm celebrating the life you had right here where I am...

in remembering.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

SMART TOT


She was crying bloody murder.

I told her...

'I know you're hungry and I am going to feed you. But you know you made a little dooty and I can't let you sit on it. You have to let me clean you up and the sooner you let me, the sooner I can give you the bottle. Got it?'

So I turned and grabbed a diaper and when I turned back to her, she had both legs up in the air and she was cooing quietly. Yeah, I do think she got it.

And she was all of 7 days old.

THE PROMISE


He wrote on my planner...

'Here within these walls, no harm will come to you, as I lie beside you watching you sleep.'

17 years later and 2 continents wider, he's still keeping his promise.

Somehow, somewhere, I must have done something good.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING


Finally, a thanksgiving dinner I can keep down! Eureka!

Everything was so good Marlene... the stuffing, the mashed potatoes, the turkey, even the beans. I loved everything on the table, I really did! Sure glad I came.

Thanks for adopting us again this year!

(So now, let's see... hmmm... there's a kickbox cardio class at 8:30AM tomorrow. Exactly what I need.)

AMONGST THEM


They were here for an afternoon.

I drew up my legs under me. I wore an old, faded shirt. Held my hair up haphazardly in a bun. We ate with our fingers. There was no being any other but myself.

We spoke about family like only family can.

There are things we simply cannot replace, no matter how unfamiliar it is to get reacquainted with familiar ways in an unfamiliar place.

It's a touch of home.

IF A SONG WAS ALL IT TOOK TO MAKE IT RIGHT...

Birds sing after a storm; why shouldn't people feel as free to delight in whatever sunlight remains to them? (Rose F. Kennedy)

ON FATHERS AND PRODIGAL SONS

The Scriptures do not offer much advice on family problems, but we can pick up clues. In the father of the Prodigal Son we have Jesus' model of what it is to be a parent. He is not overprotective. He allows his son the freedom to follow his own dream rather than his father's, to take risks and to make mistakes. He is still there for the son who has made a fool of himself and brought shame on the family. He absorbs the jealousy and anger of the older son but does not yield to him. He shows what it is to be a man: there when he is needed; faithful to wife and children; able for lifelong commitment; nurturing, forgiving, patient, and aware that children can learn from their mistakes.

He does not blame himself. When the boy is bursting with rehearsed self-reproaches (‘I have sinned against heaven. I am not worthy to be called your son.' Luke 15:21), the father has no time for them. Instead he blesses and heals. Children shy away from parents who blame themselves for their children's failures. We hate to be made to feel a disappointment to those we love. And we hate them to feel guilty over happenings that were not their fault. But we warm to the parent who, without any illusions about what has happened, is still ready to fall on our necks and kill the fatted calf. (from the Sacred Space)

I hope you wizen up. Please wizen up. You are going to hurt yourself, most of all.

~~~0~~~


On a lighter note, Putin is reading my blog!

Naaah. Saw The Russian Federation on my Sitemeter... hehe.

Twice.

WORKING CLASS HERO


IG: Hey, you're here! I thought you were sick. I heard you were sick.

Me: I was.

IG: What was it? Flu?

Me: Yeah... flu, cough, colds, joints all glued together... the whole shebang.

IG: Wow. Well, it's a wonder you're back so soon then. What'd you do, take antibiotics?

Me: Nope, didn't have to. I had something more potent. It's called mortgage.

OUT OF THE BLUE...


I was doing some cleaning up and found this in a long-forgotten notebook, scribbled hastily, heavily... snapped shut, and then forgotten.

Everyday you wake up thinking it will be a little easier, hoping it will be easier. And then you hear some thoughtful thing said or done, a little 'thank you' maybe, and it's nice enough to make you smile... and it does get easier.

Sometimes you wonder if it's smart to keep romanticizing things and to keep taking all the crap in silent forbearance, or if it's better to hand them some of it back, just to be fair. But then you know there will be mortification in realizing that they do not know better, couldn't know better... because they're not where you are and they do not do what you do.

All they know is that you love them.

You told them so.

I remember now...

MACHO


I understand how this may seem overboard to some but...

I did something very wrong to Macho, my car. It was so wrong that while I was driving it, it went from gurgle, to sputter, to dead. I did not panic at all when that happened. I knew exactly what I had to do. I called Papa.

Now, I never formed an affinity to my car. For me it is what it is, a tool that served me well. But when it became apparent that Macho needed some fixing, and when I learned that he had to spend a night at the service center, gosh!... I could actually feel the car hurting, as in sick hurting. Realizing that made me, as the pirates would say, 'shiver me timbers!'

But anyway, Macho's back and Papa and I took him out for a ride. When we pulled in to his usual place in the garage, I gave him a pat and whispered, 'Welcome back, baby.'

I never thought I'd ever have to say this but yeah, I guess I love my car.

BOOTS


You do not treat any one in my family the way you do and expect me to respect you. You have not known love such as I have for them if you think you can reduce them to anything less than the world they are to me and in the same breath feel free to ring me up and exchange pleasantries. All my life, I have always found a way to forgive anything and anyone. You, however, have brought me to a dead end.

I will not even hate you. That will be such a waste of energy and there is no room in my life for hate, even for the likes of you. I will simply deny you the right to exist in my universe. You are not even scum. You're a non-entity.

Vanish... I beg of you!

FOR THE SONS AND DAUGHTERS OF THESE HARD TIMES


I have posted this before and I'd like to post it again. I think it has never been more timely that it is today.

From one Paul Harvey...

I'd like you to know about hand me down clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover meat loaf sandwiches. I really would. I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by being cheated. I hope you learn to make your own beds and mow the lawn and wash the car. And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you are sixteen. It will be good if at least one time you can see puppies born and your old dog put to sleep. I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in.

I hope you'd have to share a bedroom with your younger brother or sister. And it's all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room, but when the little one wants to crawl under the covers with you because they're scared, I hope you let him or her. When you want to see a movie and your little brother or sister wants to tag along, I hope you'll be happy to oblige.

I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends and that you live in a town where you can do it safely. On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don't ask the driver to drop you two blocks away so you won't be seen riding with someone as uncool as your Mom. If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dads will teach you how to make one instead of buying one.

I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books. When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in your heads. I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crushes on a girl, and when you talk back to your mothers, that your learn what Ivory soap tastes like. May you skin your knees climbing a mountain, burn your hands on a stove and bump your asses falling off a tree.

I don't care if you try a beer once, but I hope you don't like it. And if a friend offers you dope or a joint, I hope you realize he is not a friend. I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with granny and grampa and go fishing with your uncles. May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy during the holidays. I hope your mothers punish you when you throw a baseball through a neighbor's window and that they hug and kiss you at Christmas time when you give them a plaster mold of your hands.

These things I wish for you - tough times and disappointment, hard work and happiness. To me, it's the only way to appreciate life.

I've kept this through the years and I've never forgotten it. Try as I might, I have never been able to say it better. The truth in what the man says and the naivete in how he speaks makes me nostalgic for such times as can only be found in the memories of the old, the imagination of the young, and the hopes of those who knew better days.