UGGHHH... BUT JUST THIS ONCE


Much as I don't want to hop into the bandwagon of the Kris-Joey crap, I'm all alone right now and getting helplessly lonely. Reggie sent me this and it just made my day... blogging it now cause laughter shared is twice the fun.

Thanks Reggie!


DONG PUNO LIVE

Joey Loyalist: "Hindi po kami naniniwala na may STD si Mayor... mabait po sya sa aming lahat. Masakit po sa kalooban namin... walang STD ang aming mahal na Mayor..."

Dong Puno: "May records ho iyan sa ospital. Paano po kung may nakuhang dokumento na nagsasabing totoo ang sinasabi ni Kris tungkol kay Mayor Marquez?"

Joey Loyalist: (pauses for a second or two) "Ah... ipagpapasa-Diyos na lang ho namin."

Joey Loyalist: "Hindi ho makakaya ni Mayor na manakit ng tao. Mabait siya sa lahat dito sa Paranaque. Wag natin syang ipre-judge... hindi namin nakikitang nananakit si Mayor..."

Atty. Legarda: (calmly) "Hi. may I ask you some questions? Have you ever lived with Joey Marquez?

Joey Loyalist: "Hindi."

Atty. Legarda: "Did you ever have sex with Mayor Marquez?"

Joey Loyalist: (realizes where this is going) "Uhmm... hindi."

Atty. Legarda: "Then, how will you know his real behavior?"

Joey Loyalist just looks on.

Dong Puno: "Given a chance, magpapakasal ka pa rin ba kay Joey Marquez pag inalok ka nya?"

Stella L: "Not rayt now. pero siguro... kailangan black and white... black and white dapat na pwede kong... black and white na pag... basta black and white..."

Dong Puno: (confused but laughing a little) "Eh ano ba ang ibig sabihin mo sa 'black and white'?"


DEBATE

Melanie: (in an angry and self-righteous tone) "I won't stoop down to my level!" (magaling pala magbigay ng advice si Melanie)

Melanie: (as angry as hell) "Hello? Bulag ka ba? Bingi ka ba? (points to ear) Are you dep?"

Melanie: "Yung STD... baka sa maruming toilet lang nya nakuha yan." (nothing beats a well-informed panelist like Melanie)

Melanie: (one of her best points yet) "Eh ikaw ba naman durugin ang ari mo? Pag di ba naman manutok ka ng baril?" (this is a very popular observation of renowned psychologists. it's called the "mash the crotch, cock a gun" phenomenon)

Melanie: "Don't judge Joey because he is not a book!"

Melanie: "My brother is not a violent person. We are lovers."

Nnaalala ko tuloy yung isa pa nyang comment...

Melanie: "I don't eat meat. I'm not a carnival."

I have absolutely no idea if all this is true... wasn't even aware that Dong Puno still had a show. So I hope nobody accuses me of finding mirth in other people's misfortunes. Remember that I'm not the one who made a spectacle out of this... this... folly.

However, if anyone decides to point a finger at me, this is what I have to say...

"First and for all, please give me the benefit of the daw. For all intense and purposes, I'm only joking my leg. I'm only human nature, and sometimes I want to have my cake and bake it too. One of these days is not like the other, and this too will pass. So you can just forget it about it. All your accusations then will be mute and academic, annulled and void."

But anyway, that is neither now and there. So I guess I will end this right here and just burn the bridge when I get there.

Postscript: Special mention to Denden... whose email was my source for the very profound lines in my last two paragraphs.