MY CHRISTMAS WISH


I have a friend who's going to spend Christmas away from her family, braving the cold alone in London. That's not the sad part though. She shouldn't be alone and didn't have to be, except... her husband deserted her for another woman. That, after my friend worked it out so that he could be with her.

We've got a friend who's been diagnosed with bone cancer. It's actually lung cancer that has metastasized to his bones. He's now in the hospital fighting for his life. It doesn't help that his wife has got a bad case of nerves and has been on medication to calm them down. They have 3 children, the eldest being 14 years old, and I can't even begin to imagine what goes on inside their heads right now.

I've got another friend who hasn't been home for 5 years and is dying to be home. Last year, he was supposed to have come home for his wedding but it had to be postponed because the bride's father died a month before the wedding date. They scheduled it again for this year but had to postpone it again because they're having problems with the bride's visa. It has to be renewed, and by some twist of tough luck, they've been waiting 9 months... and are still waiting. Now they can't go home for Christmas, and they can't set a wedding date.

And then there's this friend who will have to spend Christmas without her only daughter, who chose to be with the father of her child, no matter if the writing on the wall states in big bold red letters, 'I WOULDN'T DO THAT IF I WERE YOU!'

In the web, there's this guy who states that 'Christmas is overrated,' and then there's this lady who's so bogged down with work, and it doesn't help that along with the razzamatazz, Christmas brings with it the need to hustle more. She just wants the whole thing to be over as soon as possible.

I've received several emails, of people telling me how their Christmases would be another lonely one, for this reason and that. One of them has this long-standing problem with her parents, that even after attempting to kill herself, didn't get resolved.

Tough, huh?

In the face of all these, part of me almost feels guilty for being so perky in anticipation of being home again, of having my loved ones with me this time of the year. And yet, when I think about it, I realize I've had my share. Christmas doesn't bring only happy memories to me... I've also had it bad a couple of times, maybe more than I'd care to remember. I took the crap, but now it's all gone. It's over. And I find myself standing, I'm still here... the one remembering, not the one remembered. Life goes on... and Christmas still happens, always have, always will.

It would probably be the basest form of arrogance to think of telling my friends to cheer up, that everything will be alright. I couldn't know that, now could I? I would only be offering them unthought of, empty, shallow, factory-assembled, right-off-the-top, sorry excuse for comforting words.

I ask them instead to hang in there and deal with the cards they're dealt with. Maybe tomorrow, or the day after, maybe next week, next month, or next year, maybe 10 years from now, all these will just be a memory. Bitter, they may be... still, just a memory. You would have allowed life to go on, and in the end, still find yourself standing, relentless, inexorable. And what is the point to that? Nothing much... except that you have prevailed. And in the aftermath of such things, what else is there, after all?

There's something I read somewhere, a simple, self-effacing poem about a boy and his sister. The sister came into the room one night, all light and chirpy because she has claimed the moonlight for herself. She was counting to her brother how happy the moonlight would make her... it would follow her wherever she went and with that, she could make shadow puppets anytime she wanted, and she would have something bright to stare at in the darkness of the night, the whole night. Her brother pleaded with her to share the moonlight with him, because he, too, wanted to have some of her fun, and some light, cause he, too, was in the darkness... but to no avail. Despondent, the boy's shoulders sagged down in defeat. But then, a thought struck him suddenly and his face brightened. This is what he said:

it's alright
you can have the moonlight
tomorrow I'll have more fun
tomorrow, I'll have the sun

While others would wish for world peace, I would rather wish for fortitude of spirit, if only so we could keep the peace within ourselves.

And I wish Christmas would stay as long as it takes, until we can find time for it, until we can make sense of it... again.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

I'm coming home...