Wow!... just 2 more weeks and we'll be home. Maybe I've been thinking about this so much cause I seem to have nightly dreams about my family... well, how can I not? The last time I went home was July... I know, I know... I have it better than a whole lot of others who haven't been home in years. Still though, I can't get enough of going home. I miss it soooo much. And heck... it's Christmas.
What do I remember about Christmas as a kid? Well let's see... I remember our little silver Christmas tree... it had a silver frame and the leaves (although they resembled anything but leaves) too were made in silver. My mom had a wide array of decorations to hang unto it, collected through the years. For this reason, the tree had no color motiff or design... just bits and pieces here and there. When I was small, the tree looked grand. As I got older, it looked to me like the tree progressively got smaller... maybe I grew bigger and my eyes got accustomed to things more grand than that silver christmas tree.
Our family has known dire straits after my dad left the Community Chest and so we had no choice but to take that tree out at Christmas year after year. In the late 80's, as the kids finished school and my dad got pretty much settled in his private law practice, we were able to replace the tree with a much bigger... and green (this time) tree. It even rested on a pivot which played Christmas songs when the tree turned. When that happened though, I wasn't living in the house anymore so I never got into the hustle of bringing it out and putting it up. Somehow, each time we went for Christmas lunch in my parent's house, the tree looked more beautiful in my eyes than to my sisters who still lived there. For me it's like saying... we made it through the rain... life is much better now, much easier. And even if I don't live in that house anymore, I know the people there... my family... got it good, and it makes me happy.
I don't miss the little old silver tree. It's more than served it's purpose and best layed to rest. But I will never forget it... the way my mom patiently straightened out strand after strand of the of silver strip, the way she put up the little old christmas decors... no color motiff, no uniform design, and the way she went quiet afterward when it's done... looking at it with private thoughts none of us ever bothered to ask. When we got older, she handed the putting up of the tree over to my sisters and I. The first time we did it, we were so excited... arguing over where best to put each piece of decor... laughing all the time.
The silver tree has seen us through happy times and sad times, through scarce and plenty... through smiles and wistful looks... and it's become privy to each of our thoughts as we looked at it. It's seen enough, heard enough and known enough. I don't miss that tree. It's always in my heart... like family.
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