3 days... and we're home....

On the day we get home, it will be my mom's birthday... and then Meg's home too for her sister's wedding... and she wants the whole group to meet up on the same night we arrive cause she's going back to London the following day... poor girl, won't even get to spend Christmas at home. I still haven't heard from any of them though, wonder what's up. If it pushes through though, I wonder how I'll get to that all-nighter she's planning to have. Ate Lani's driver might be able to get me there but how to get back? Well, I'll figure something out I guess. Bahala na si Batman. The following day, my mom wants to go Duty Free... pretty tiring coming straight from a trip huh. Wonder if I'll get to sleep that night.

And then it will be Dennis's birthday, and then of course Papa's birthday and then Karen's. The Serenos are planning a get-together at Janet's on the 21st so Papa's having his birthday gig on the 22nd. And then it's Christmas, then New Year... and then it's Kay's birthday... and then back to Singapore...:( ... a whole lot of things happening... and I still don't know if anything's up with the 'neighborhood association' (Ate Sienna, pahiram ha) in Antipolo.

I remember when I was a kid, Christmas lunch will always be spent at Auntie Dens's (my grand aunt) house. A lot of our relatives were still in the Philippines, and a whole lot of them were still alive. There was Apong Pepe (Tatang's brother) and his wife Nang Sanang... and my dad's cousins from them with their children (our second cousins who I haven't heard from in ages) tagging along, of course... Rory, Aves, Amylou, Kuya Joey, Cleo, Baning, Burudol. There was always Eric, their only grandson living with them, practically brought up by them (my first crush... hey, I grew up in STC, an all-girl's school, so what do you expect?... I didn't really get to have a pick from non-cousins) and Auntie Belen, if Christmas found her in the Phils. And then there were the Nolasco's, but I can only remember them from my earliest recollections cause they left too soon for the States, pioneered by my godmother, Auntie Lex (the first role-model in my life, really sexy and suave... and she knows all the fun things to do, fun places to go, and fun things to give a young girl... I wonder how I would have turned out if she didn't leave the Phils.)... Auntie Trining, Uncle Gordon (who was a very fun uncle), Uncle Jojie (with the very prominent brown mole right in his eye), Uncle Jimmy and Auntie Cely (the homebody of the lot). There was also the time the twins (Tang Pet's sons), Uncle Danny and Uncle Bobby, joined us during the reunions cause they were in the Phils. studying dentistry. Sometimes Tang Pet and his wife, Auntie Sion, and their youngest son Lito (up to now I can't understand why it was to him that Auntie Dens gave her apartment to) would come and spend the holidays with their sons and so be present too. There's a lot more of the relatives we only saw during Christmas but I was so young then... now I can't remember half their names...

From our immediate family, there was Tatang and Inang (my grandparents from my dad's side) and the Quipots... Auntie Nemie's (dad's younger sister) family... Uncle Simo, Alma, Leslie and Jonjon. Uncle Tito's family always spent their Christmas in Nueva Ecija... I can't remember having spent Christmas with them... either in the city or in the province). The reunions only lasted up to the time when Kuya El had Nina, I think and when Diko Jun had Kris... when Auntie Dens died, the reunions stopped.

I also remember when the Grand Dame of the Ramirezes was still alive... Apong Apiang... sitted on her grandfather's chair, extending her hand for all who sought her blessing... 'Mano po, Apong Apiang.'... 'Kaawaan ka ng Diooos apoooo... e, sino ka ngaaa baaa?' One time we heard she was brought to the hospital and then not long after, she died. I don't remember going to the funeral. I wonder though, if anybody ever thought of giving her a peck on the cheek instead of the accustomed 'pagmano'... maybe if I'd known her better, I would have. I wish I have.

Anyway... after dipping our heads and laying our foreheads on countless elders' hands... then we were allowed to eat. It was never potluck... Auntie Dens took care of everything, together with her very loyal alalays, Manang Mila and Veron. Sometimes she would ask my mom to cook something and always, there would be the 'pinapaitan' that the clan simply loves... especially the men. And there would always be liquor and beer... even my dad drank beer back then. Sometimes the men would get so naughty and tease the boys to a sip of beer, to the dismay of the moms. I remember Jonjon... when he was given a sip from a bottle of beer while in his hand he held his feeding bottle. He was still a baby then. He did take a sip and everybody watched, expecting him to cry. After the sip, Jonjon quietly extended his hand holding his feeding bottle, like giving it up to someone, while his empty hand reached for the beer bottle... teehee. The kids really had a treat... there was always chocolates and sweets on the table and nobody even had to ask their mothers if they could have some... that was the only time and place the kids can have candy at pleasure. The dishes were always replenished with hot food for whoever wanted to eat again. Sometimes one of the men would get so drunk and treat everybody to ice cream and the children would scream with delight. Up to now, I can still hear the racket like it was yesterday.

It was usually a whole day affair... starting at around 10 or 11 in the morning and everybody hangs around until 5 or 6 in the evening. A lot of my family were in the armed forces, nurses, nurses in the armed forces, and teachers and they spent a lot of time talking about their jobs. My dad was the only lawyer in the family so he didn't have anybody to talk shop to but most of the family would take this opportunity to ask dad for advice on some matter... it's like the 'godfather' being sought for assistance during family gatherings. The men's talk would be rowdy, with a lot of laughter, a lot of drunken bravado... it was fun to watch them. The women would be catching up on the past year... talking about their children, their jobs, their husbands, the headache of running a household and such. These were the times most of the kids dreaded cause if there was one time in the year that their silly, stupid or stubborn antics would be broadcasted to the clan, it was during Christmas lunch at Auntie Dens's. Ooh mothers!....

Gifts were never really given out in particular... there were so many people to consider it was almost impossible to remember everybody... but the kids certainly had their fill of Christmas money. It was always the men who would hand out money to the children and at the time, there was a whole lot of them. They would be talking in a group and the children would be playing nearby, seemingly not paying attention to the grown-ups. But I know each kid was on the look-out, alert at being summoned by anyone of the uncles... eager to be first in line. 'Line up!'... 'Yeeey!!!! Ako una! Ako una! Ang daya naman eeeee!!!' Oh I just love those Christmases.

And then... the crowd dwindled... people moved to the States, worked in Saudi, grew up and had families and lived away from the city... and people died. As the years went, there were less and less relatives present at those lunches. Those kids who've grown up and have finished school and had jobs and stayed in the city tried to keep the traditional lunches going as usual... new elders drinking, chatting and giving out money to new kids. But of course it was never the same for me... I guess Christmas was really made for children.

Now Auntie Dens is dead and Auntie Nemie's and Uncle Tito's families are all in the States... so the Christmas lunch is just us... my dad, my mom, my brothers and sisters and their spouses and kids... The meals are still wonderful, now there's just enough people to remember giving a gift to everybody and not fear leaving anybody out... even the helpers are remembered. Sometimes my dad would tell everybody to line up and he would give out money, like when we were kids. It's still a lot of fun... but I'm not one to yelp in delight anymore... I'm just one of the women now, catching up on my siblings lives, listening to our husbands talk shop or talk silly, hearing about the stupid, silly or stubborn antics of my nieces and nephews.

In time, we too would grow old... maybe reclining in our grandfather's chairs... waiting for grandchildren to ask for our blessing... not knowing which is which... watching the family we've made laughing, playing, talking, drinking. When that day comes...

I hope we've given enough fun Christmases to the children so they too can have their fun Christmases with their children....

I hope we've made them smile enough so they too would have enough to remember and smile about....

I hope we've cared enough so they wouldn't need to ask why we bother....

I hope we've shared enough of ourselves so they'll know us enough to give our gnarled cheeks a kiss....

I hope we've loved them enough so that wherever life may take them, they'd want to keep coming home....

... and I hope I'll have a grandfather's chair to recline on... waiting to bless the children...

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!....





I'm coming home....