Bakit kaya ganon? Ngayong medyo nakakaluwag-luwag na, na-stroke naman si Gigi. Ganon ba talaga ang kapalaran?... ang bilis ng payback. Bigyan ka ng konti, ang bigat ng singil.

I know that this is a futile line of thought, not to mention non-constructive. But just last week, it was my mom who was brought to the hospital because of her blood pressure. Now it's Papa's sister. And it's not even by choice that we are deemed helpless... not because we're not doctors, or because we have to stay away in order to make a living or anything like that... but because really, what can we do in situations like this but to hope for the best, do whatever we can, and in the meantime, fret with the knowledge that a loved one is in pain? For somebody who's not strong enough, it could easily drain whatever inner resolve one has to make for a better life... worry is such a useless, yet overwhelming, monster of an emotion.



For all the things we're aiming for in life... made scrupulous by the realities of our times and humbled by our experiences... for all the things we've gone through and prepared ourselves to go through... for all the gratitude we've expressed for what has come to pass so far... we've always battled with the one-step-forward-two-steps-back turn of fate. And the strange thing about it is this... everytime we're cut some financial slack, the payback is emotional drudgery... someone we love getting sick... and I'm not talking about the 'you-must-have-caught-a -virus' kind of sick. I mean sick... hospitalized kind of sick. And it makes us all feel so helpless.

You kick, and scratch and fight with all your might
You throw stones, and curse, and wish it blight
It stands its ground, haughty as a feind
Eyes burning, voice roaring in the din of your futile brawl
'Hush, you creature! In your pomposity, you forget...
You are man... and I am fate...'