Jan. 1 (Wednesday)

It's 2000 and 3

We're hitching a ride with Ting and Elena to Bong's place to get the car. When we got there, Bong, Darlene and Lucas have gone to hear mass... we'll be meeting them at home after all, originally, they weren't supposed to go home cause they were scheduled to house sit this time. Kuya's family won't be around, they always spend the New Year in Nueva Ecija. But Darlene will pick up Diko so it'll still be pretty much a full house.

Mom prepared one of my favorites... ginulay na mais. There were other dishes but I really can't remember them now. It wasn't as lively as last Christmas... everybody just wanted to take a rest. It was like a regular Sunday spent at home. The guys didn't even drink and the kids just watched TV. Darlene and her family left early too and had to bring home Diko and the kids cause we were having dinner at my mom-in-law's.



Something happened as we left. I was kissing dad goodbye and half-hugged him as I did. He didn't normally react to this... my dad is not the most demonstrative of fathers. But this time, he squeezed my hand, which was resting on his waist as I was hugging him, by pressing on it with his elbow. It was such a slight pressure but unmistakably a hug in itself. They stood on the porch as we drove away... my dad, my mom, Ate and Axl, waving to us, shouting 'babay'. When I rolled up my window, I don't know what came over me, but I couldn't help but cry. I don't even know why I was crying but I couldn't stop myself. I was thinking... next year... please be here next Christmas cause we will be here too. Papa asked me why I was crying and I said... 'Are we doing the right thing? Living so far away, with our parents aging, and everybody else's life happening... and we are so far away...' I had to force myself to stop cause we were pulling up at my mom-in-law's house. But through the course of the night, the feeling would stay with me. Sometimes I would go out to the terrace and be by myself for a minute or two... unable to stop the tears.

We waited a while for Dennis and Meng so they could join us for dinner. Of course, TJ was her usual self, entertaining us with her antics, dancing for us and asking endless questions. Papa's mom prepared caldereta (according to her, she hasn't cooked it since we left so she wasn't sure how it tasted... said she lacked practice... is it just me or have people agreed to make me cry today?). It was very good, just like way I remembered and I really enjoyed the meal. I ate a lot, having given up watching my waistline... definitely a futile resolve while on vacation.

We didn't stay long. I had to go to bed early cause I was having my pre-birthday bash tomorrow. Everybody was coming to the house.... can't quite get rid of all the celebrations yet... we still had a few things up our sleeve... yes, too few...

Jan 2 (Thursday)

Ok, enough of the crying. Golly gee... what a way to start the year, huh?



Everybody's coming over today for a last get together before we leave. They were planning to take a dip in the pool but wonder of wonders, the weather chose today of all days to settle down on a mercurial slumber. It was really, really cold. I wasn't able to ask the maintainance to clean the clubhouse pool so I thought if anybody wanted to swim, the public pool would do just as well cause nobody else would really be thinking of swimming today and they'd have it all to themselves. Alas, I need not have worried... they brought their own pool with them... teehee...



I... rather, Anna... prepared a sumptuous lunch for everybody. We had, of course, the ever-present inihaw na liempo. We also had inihaw na pusit, lumpiang prito and pansit. I still had fruit salad left over from new year's eve. For merienda, I cooked ginataang bilo-bilo which everybody loved. Mom and I prepared the galapong together and doing that brought forth a lot of memories... when we were still kids spending numerous vacations in the province, when my grandparents were still alive and all my cousins and uncles and aunts were still here in the Philippines, joining us for vacation. (Come to think of it, maybe this is the reason why, whenever I cook, it seems like I'm cooking for an army. I grew up watching my grandmother, and my aunts... and my mom... cooking for a whole lot of people.) Everybody stayed on until dinner and Ana cooked sinigang na baboy. Unfortunately, she didn't do it as preferred by all... which means, with considerable amount of fat in the pork and a tad more sour.



It was a fun, fun day... with the kids running in and out of the house, trailing water in their wake and messing up the floor like crazy. Darlene was teasing me... a few years back, I'd be all over the house wiping the table, the kitchen counter and the floor if there was but a speck of dirt visible to the eye. It was a bit embarrassing to be reminded but it's true... Now I couldn't care less... they could mess up the house all they want... all I care about is that they were there and that I was with them.

Lolet and her family also came, albeit reluctantly. She knew it was a family gathering and only came because I insisted (good friends... you don't have to say a lot for them to understand). I also invited Tatang and his daughter Josephine but he declined for the same reason that Lolet was reluctant.

Ate, Dennis, Axl, Darlene, Bong, Lucas and Kris (to make sure the bike that Papa gave to him would be delivered home safely) stayed for the night. Everybody was tired and slept almost as soon as they hit the sack. Kris stayed up a while watching TV and I stayed up with him. We didn't say much to each other... I didn't know what to say. I wanted to ask him about a lot of things but I didn't know how to ask... he's all of 15 years... where was I supposed to start? So I kept quiet and watched the TV with him. In my silence, the tears threatened to come again... having the same thoughts I had yesterday. So I went out to the garden... it was cold... very cold indeed.

It's not that I'm not grateful for this opportunity that Papa and I were blessed with... being in Singapore has helped us out of possible dire straits. I know that being away from my family is part of it and I am dealing with it. But please, just don't let it stare at me straight in the face... not like this... one night with my nephew, and I am totally at a loss for words... and for Pete's sakes, I've got 9 nephews and nieces altogether...

I went back to the house after a while, unable to stand the cold... not knowing if it came from the chill in the air or rising from the depths of my heart. The TV has been turned off and Kris was asleep. I watched him a while, still thinking... where do I start?

Jan. 3 (Friday)

Papa has a meeting today and since the car is 'coding' and banned from the main streets, he had to leave real early. I woke up early too to cook arroz caldo which I'm feeding our motley crew for breakfast.

When it was cooked, I asked Anna to dish out some in a bowl so I could bring it to Lolet. On my way to Lolet's house, I saw Bong and Architect out on the street chatting. I felt it improper not to bring some for Architect so I went back to the house, asked Anna to prepare another bowl, and brought it back to him. When I got there, Tatang has joined them and... you guessed it... I went back to the house, had another bowl prepared and brought it to him. Whew! Going back to the house, Ate, Dennis, Axl, and Bong were sitting on benches enjoying the early morning breeze. I told them to come in for breakfast and Bong said, 'Kung meron pa.'... teehee...

After breakfast, everybody got ready to leave. I hugged Kris before he boarded the van, telling him that if he needed anything, write me. After a night of musing, that was all I could muster. I'm such a dope.

Anyway, I was meeting Papa at Megamall that afternoon to do some shopping but I was a bit sleepy so I took a nap first. I must have been really out cause apparently, while I was sleeping, I had 3 callers but I didn't hear anything and the extension phone was right beside the bed. Anna (bless her) didn't put any of the calls through... following my specific instructions not to wake me up before 1pm.

As it turned out, it was another late night for us. Mr. Dizon called Papa and invited him over for dinner. Good thing we still had time to shop cause Papa really needs new stuff... more for my sake though than Papa's, so that I don't have to cram washing and ironing clothes all the time (hehehe)... The dinner at Mr. Dizon's was more a staff meeting than a social thing. All ICI's engineers and sales people were there. I passed the night watching TV and chatting with Marie and Mrs. Dizon. Such an embarrassment though cause I seem to have caught myself dozing off at one point... teehee...

We came home at around 1am... and I still had to pack for our trip to Tagaytay tomorrow. But don't get me wrong... I'm not complaining. There's just a few short days left and I'm glad for any reason to stay up for most of it.

Jan. 4 (Saturday)

I almost didn't sleep. It was nearing 3am when I finished packing, bathing and doing the countless rituals I had to do before going to bed... teehee. Then I was up at 4 to do the same rituals and be ready to leave at 5. Hmmmm...



We had to pick up Papa's mom, Gigi, Tj, Tj's yaya, Janet, Tasha and Auntie Nana in Novaliches. It got crowded in the car as luggage was squeezed in, but we finally got loaded up and off we went. It was a swift trip, traffic being very light and the roads mostly good. In no time we were at Emy's house. I've been there once before and it is a very beautiful house, well-planned and comfortable... a house really made for relaxation. The breeze was blowing in and it was very cold, much colder than Antipolo... the air crisp with freshness, freezing our noses numb.

Sandwhiches and coffee were served but Papa was hungrier than they thought. He asked for rice and Emy heated up some left-over menudo. I've had my share of the sandwhich but when I saw what Papa was eating, my tummy grumbled and so I ate rice too... hold your horses!... it's just a few more days. After breakfast, everybody left to go to Dalampasigan, where we were having lunch. Too soon after breakfast?... that's what you think. Dalampasigan happens to be quite a distance away.



But it's a well-chosen restaurant... very nice and with lots of local color to it. The whole place was like a huge residential lot owned by just one family... you know, like in the olden days when one 'angkan' would have acres and acres of land, not to toil on it but just to live in it. The family residence was fenced apart from the restaurant proper, and aside from the main restaurant, which was already big by itself, there were smaller restaurants, apparently for smaller, more private gatherings. They had nice names too... Gazebo ni Lolo Ponyong, Grandma's Garden, Kainan sa Hardin ni Lola Doray. This must have been owned by a very rich family and one that was so much into cooking.



We feasted on kare-kare, pansit canton and an assortment of inihaw... pork, tahong, pusit, fish, shrimps... and special sauces to go with them. They served rice (and what big servings they were) wrapped in banana leaves. After the meal, we had halo-halo for dessert. I can't even remember when I last had halo-halo. Papa and I shared a glass... we had to cause he only wanted to eat the corn and jello and drink the sabaw... I had to finish everything else. When we finished eating, I thought I would burst. Man, I was so full!

After Dalampasigan, we made a little trip again, this time to Punta Fuego. For quite sometime now, I've been hearing about this place that I feel so familiar with it... what with Agnes selling lots in the place and Darlene completing the interior design of one of the houses there. Now, I would finally see it.



It's so beautiful, just like Darlene and Agnes told me... and more. The houses were huge and looked like the millions they must have been worth. There were lots of greens and the sea surrounding it at every point. If I will ever be a recluse... I'd have to be a rich one so I can put up a house and stay there. And probably love every minute of my isolation. We went to the beach front cause we promised TJ we'd go swimming but there were a lot of people so we opted for the pools. Tasha found a really nice pool called 'The Infinity Pool'. It had dark blue tiles and the edge was made to look like the pool was continuous with the sea. Janet, TJ, Tasha, Papa and I were all shivering but we didn't mind... we loved the water and it's been a while since I've swam. I did a few laps, practiced my backstrokes, freestyles, breast strokes, showed Tasha a trick or two... but mostly I just let the water carry my body in blissful languor. We had to leave before sunset cause it was quite a tricky road back. I wish we came earlier. This is the first real rest I've had in this vacation and I wish it could have lasted longer.



From the poolside, Rene (Papa's brother-in-law) gave us a brief tour of the place. We went to their favorite fishing spot. It was perched on top of a cliff which gave us a wonderful view of the vast expanse of the surrounding sea. It was simply beautiful and so peaceful, not a boat or yacht in sight... nothing to ruffle the waters. We could spot islands here and there and all around us were lazy blue waves slapping the shore. After that, we drove around a bit, quite aimlessly, just looking at the houses and the greens and when Emy needed to go to a restroom, I spotted a bit of the 9-hole golf course that Bong was telling me about.

After a while, we drove on. Coming out of Punta Fuego, right across the long driveway, it was like reality check for me. We saw houses of cheap lumber and recycled tin, some houses made of concrete were still under construction, quite obviously owned by people with their circumstances just recently improved. There were a number of sari-sari stores where mothers in tattered houseclothes, some of them balancing a baby on a hip, men naked down to their waist and grubby children gathered around. What's the point of writing this down? Nothing. We drove swiftly by, racing with the sunset... like ships that pass in the night.