Friday, May 02, 2003

I just finished my bath.

As I stepped out of the bathroom, I reached for my spectacles, put them on and... POW! It's like a million firecrackers hit me right in the eye. I couldn't see anything. Hurriedly, I took them off, shaking my head clear and holding on to the wall for support. I slowly opened my eyes, afraid of what I might feel again. It was alright this time, thank God.

What was that all about? I tried putting on my glasses again, this time with my eyes shut tight. Slowly I opened my lids and POW! There it was again. This was so terrible and it made me scared out of my wits. Something was sooo wrong and I can't figure out what it was.

I set it aside for the meantime, stepped out of the bathroom and got dressed... all the while things were playing up in my mind... each idea making me more scared than the first. It couldn't be my specs... I just had my eyes refracted last November... that wasn't even a year ago... they couldn't have hiked up that fast. Was it cataracts?... Was I even old enough? Or maybe I had undiagnosed diabetes and now I've got glaucoma. Was I going blind from radiation and did I get this staring at my monitor 24/7? God help me... each thought was getting me more depressed.

For some reason, I wanted to know the time so I looked at the clock. 10:00 pm, it said. WHOAH!.... I was by the closet and the clock was perched on top of the headboard. How was I able to read the time? I focused on my lotion bottle, squinted my right eye and tried peeking through my left. I did it again, switching from left to right this time.

And sighed...

So that's what's wrong.... stupid me.

I still had my contacts on.

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"It's in the simplest existence,in the humblest company and in the emptiest moments that I learned to appreciate what I had... and find happiness right where I was. I didn't have to reach far and dream big. One can only be as big as one sees oneself. The world will always be bigger still... and God, even more."


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