OWNING UP IS HARD TO DO
Several weeks ago I received news from home that made me explode... something that happened in our house in Antipolo the week before. Nothing really bad came out of it. Still, I was furious and I wanted to call home that very moment to talk to the people involved. Papa told me to hold my horses, not to do it just yet cause I might say things in anger that would be very difficult to take back afterwards.
So I tried to calm down and let the matter lie. The people involved are friends, a couple. The wife and I email each other regularly, some with true to form 'how are you' emails, mostly we send forwards. I was wondering why it is that a week has passed and she hasn't said anything to me about it herself. I guess I expected that of her since we're friends and it's something that happened in my house. I waited eons for her to say something to me but nada. In the meantime, I was simmering down and beginning to forget the incident, if not for the moments when it would come back to me how she was keeping mum. I mean, I wasn't really mad anymore... I was getting mad still about the way she was conducting herself. It came to the point where we stopped emailing each other altogether.
One time, I received an email from her and I thought, 'A-ha! Finally...' But I was wrong. It wasn't about that incident. It was about another... funny... incident that happened more recently. I didn't know what to make of it. I mean, was that it? Have we seen the end of it and stamped it shut with a funny anecdote? It's not that I didn't want to let her off the hook without sweating it out... but by God, I still feel that I deserved a word from her on the matter. I just won't be treated that way. I realize that perhaps she was embarrassed to bring it up, ergo, the silence. But it just wasn't doing anything to make me feel better. I was so tempted to respond to the email giving her a piece of my mind but remembering what Papa said, I just ignored it and didn't answer.
Until Papa went home.
My theory is that with Papa being right there, it struck home too closely that she felt compelled to finally say something. No, Papa haven't said anything... he's Mr. Congeniality himself. The long and short of it anyway is that I still gave her a piece of my mind but using a more subdued tone than I would have used had I brought it up earlier on. She apologized, repeatedly, and I even helped her out, saying things like 'it was an accident anyway and nothing really damning happened so there's no hatchet to be burried at all.' I felt good after that, like I've dumped some extra baggage or something. It actually dawned on me that I haven't been bearing extra baggages for a long time save for this and thank You God for bringing me back the feeling.
Because my mind runs the way it does, I considered the matter done and over with, but not without these lessons.
1. An invaluable lesson from Papa: In anger, always, always keep your mouth shut. It's the best way to stop yourself from saying things you'll be sorry for later on.
2. Something that I realized after all this: If by any chance you offend somebody, whether intentionally or not, apologize. For all you know that person is just waiting for an opportunity to forgive you.
Several weeks ago I received news from home that made me explode... something that happened in our house in Antipolo the week before. Nothing really bad came out of it. Still, I was furious and I wanted to call home that very moment to talk to the people involved. Papa told me to hold my horses, not to do it just yet cause I might say things in anger that would be very difficult to take back afterwards.
So I tried to calm down and let the matter lie. The people involved are friends, a couple. The wife and I email each other regularly, some with true to form 'how are you' emails, mostly we send forwards. I was wondering why it is that a week has passed and she hasn't said anything to me about it herself. I guess I expected that of her since we're friends and it's something that happened in my house. I waited eons for her to say something to me but nada. In the meantime, I was simmering down and beginning to forget the incident, if not for the moments when it would come back to me how she was keeping mum. I mean, I wasn't really mad anymore... I was getting mad still about the way she was conducting herself. It came to the point where we stopped emailing each other altogether.
One time, I received an email from her and I thought, 'A-ha! Finally...' But I was wrong. It wasn't about that incident. It was about another... funny... incident that happened more recently. I didn't know what to make of it. I mean, was that it? Have we seen the end of it and stamped it shut with a funny anecdote? It's not that I didn't want to let her off the hook without sweating it out... but by God, I still feel that I deserved a word from her on the matter. I just won't be treated that way. I realize that perhaps she was embarrassed to bring it up, ergo, the silence. But it just wasn't doing anything to make me feel better. I was so tempted to respond to the email giving her a piece of my mind but remembering what Papa said, I just ignored it and didn't answer.
Until Papa went home.
My theory is that with Papa being right there, it struck home too closely that she felt compelled to finally say something. No, Papa haven't said anything... he's Mr. Congeniality himself. The long and short of it anyway is that I still gave her a piece of my mind but using a more subdued tone than I would have used had I brought it up earlier on. She apologized, repeatedly, and I even helped her out, saying things like 'it was an accident anyway and nothing really damning happened so there's no hatchet to be burried at all.' I felt good after that, like I've dumped some extra baggage or something. It actually dawned on me that I haven't been bearing extra baggages for a long time save for this and thank You God for bringing me back the feeling.
Because my mind runs the way it does, I considered the matter done and over with, but not without these lessons.
1. An invaluable lesson from Papa: In anger, always, always keep your mouth shut. It's the best way to stop yourself from saying things you'll be sorry for later on.
2. Something that I realized after all this: If by any chance you offend somebody, whether intentionally or not, apologize. For all you know that person is just waiting for an opportunity to forgive you.
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