HOW DO YOU PACK A LIFETIME?


Last Saturday, we had lunch with some friends here in the house, the same guys who were with us in Bintan. There were Rena and Sara, Christine and Ronald, and Bea, whom we were meeting for the first time that day. Unfortunately, Bea's hubs begged off that morning on account of some work that had to be finished, Leah was in Seoul, Eder had to attend some company affair, Owen was in Jakarta and Antonia had some family do to welcome her brother back from Australia. If you're wondering how difficult it is to get a pack of hobos together, believe me, it's easier to catch a fly by the tail.

And as often happens in these gatherings, it was fun. Our blessed guests were very appreciative of the pepper steak and stir fried togue that Papa cooked (at least, I think they were), the Waldorf salad that I prepared and come mid-afternoon, everybody was pining for some spaghetti. There was a lot of food as each one of the guests brought a little something as well and I just have to say that I am so touched that they took pains to bring something that I too could eat.

We had one game of Monopoly beacause that was all that time allowed, and a lot of discussions about a lot of things, from our own private prejudices about certain traits people of different cultures have to the housing conditions here in Singapore. Oh, and may I just say that I won the one and only game we played that day?... hehe (Just let me be, okay?!? It's the first time I did!).

There I was, trying to listen to them and shutting off my own miserable thoughts...

Life goes on. People come and people go and in fact, Christine commented, just before they left, how that is exactly what was going to happen... the hands that shook Bea's would be the same hands that would wave me goodbye. I sat there listening to how their lives were to go on as usual... how Rena had a dinner date that evening, and Sara would be joining them to go clubbing afterwards, how Christine and Ronald would be watching a movie the following day, how Bea and hubs would have to eat the ta-pau I sent them for a whole week just to finish it... how even, Papa was not going to have dinner anymore cause he was planning to take a shower and hit the sack right after. On and on, the microcosm of their lives went and all that registered in my mind was how soon I would no longer be a part of any of it, at least, and hopefully, for a while.

This morning, I woke up and as has been my habit, my first thought was what I was going to do for today. Pack. It hit me from nowhere, or maybe straight out of the morning tea I was making, no more than three short days, and the life that I've known for almost four years might soon be changing. And as has been my habit when thoughts like this spring upon me, I cried.

But I had to keep my wits about me and so I made my list.

Clothes, and that was the easy part cause I was never big on clothes. They were in the luggage as long as they served a purpose. Sleeveless shirts and blouses were out then. So were the filmy negligee. Everything else would have to be squeezed in between the winter clothes. Oh, but not too much winter clothes cause spring is just around the corner. If I had the money, I'd opt to leave everything behind and buy myself a whole new wardrobe, but of course, that is not the case.

Bags and shoes? Pffft! Same case. If they serve a purpose, then they're in. Otherwise, they're best left where they are right now, amongst the dust and cobwebs happily taking residence in the store room.

Now here comes the hard part. Books. There is a whole 4-tier bookshelf in this house filled with books I am still waiting to read. Which ones do I bring with me and which do I leave behind? Our copies of movies I've been trying to find the time to watch and haven't. Could I even take them with me, considering?...

What about my 2-kilo photo album which I've turned into page after page of collage with pictures of family and friends? Old greeting cards, not to mention old letters? My collection of handcrafted stickers? And what about my pillow, which is about the only pillow I can use if I wouldn't want to wake up with a headache in the morning? And my coffee mug, from which I can take a sip and manage to slip free off the chipped edge even with my eyes glued to my monitor? My hundred-and-one little notebooks where I have my million-and-one scribblings? God forbid that I didn't have my music collection on my laptop... that alone would have required a luggage of its own. And could I even sneak in a piece or two of my favorite biscuits here, at least the ones that I am still allowed to have? Or the teeny-weeny boxes of lemon, orange and peppermint herbal infusions?

It would have been a different story if this was a one-week trip or even a one-month trip, or whatever, as long as it was a one-something trip. I do have my return ticket but whether I would be on that flight or not is still up for grabs. I really wouldn't want to leave anything behind which would compel me to call Papa in the middle of a workday, or good heavens, in the middle of the night saying, 'I really need you to send me my copy of...'

Right now, I've finished packing my clothes and I have been discovering one thing... I do have a great collection of clothes hangers.

You don't suppose?...