A MOM LIKE THAT
Last weekend, I slept over at Alma's house. She picked me up on Saturday afternoon and hauled me over to her daughter, Aubrey's, classmate's house for a birthday party. It was a nice party and it was a nice house, if a bit on the ornate side. But hey, what do I know anyway? I've got nothing. Each and every kid I saw there was Filipino, accompanied by their Filipino moms, three of whom were nurses, including Alma.
After the party, we brought Aubrey to her grandma's house for a sleepover with her cousins who were visiting from LA. We did a few errands, had dinner with her hubby, Cesar at Korea House, did a little shopping. We went home, I made her a tray of tiramisu while she did three preceptorship reports, which were to be submitted when she goes on duty Sunday night. We probably turned in at 1 am.
Long day? Yes, for mother and daughter, since that morning, they've also been to Aubrey's swimming class.
Sunday morning, Alma was up early and on the computer again for another project she was doing for UC Davies... that, and doing the laundry, preparing Aubrey's practice test for her coming exams in her Karate class and making her daughter's schedule of activities for the month. By 2 pm, she had to have her nap before going on the graveyard shift, which she was doing 3 nights in a row. On her way to work, she dropped me off at her mom's house where I'm staying and managed to snatch a hug and kiss from her daughter. Poor kid. Her mom's lipstick was all over her face when she was done with her.
So what's the point of all these? I guess I am just so amazed with Alma's dedicated involvement in Aubrey's activities without giving up things for herself. Not her career, not her gym, not her piano lessons, and not her pamper haven where she regularly has her facials and foot spas.
And just what are Aubrey's activities, you might ask. Well, for one thing, she has Karate classes twice a week, where she has figured first place in each and every competition she has joined. There's Spanish class, swimming class, piano lessons, gymnastics and SCORE twice a week.
Tough, you say? Well, the kid is enjoying it. I had a conversation with her this morning. I was telling her she was going to be so busy these coming weeks there would be no time for TV. You know what she said? 'I don't really watch TV all that much. I've got better things to do.'
Oh I guess it could get a bit confusing sometimes. Like the time when she was doing a kick in Karate class and her instructor had to call her attention. 'Aubrey, you are not in gymnastics. Don't point your toes!' But there's no confusion as to what kind of person this little girl is growing up to be. She may be taking first place in her Karate competitions but she hates sparring. Ask her why and she will say, 'I don't like hurting anyone.'
Her parents take her to each and everyone of these classes and she doesn't even take a school bus to school. Well, I don't think Saint Charles Borromeo School has a school bus, anyway.
Alma told me how the expenses add up when you send your kid in a private school hereabouts. I learned that people are taxed for the public schools so the kids can go to school for free. But sending your kid to a private school doesn't exempt you from those taxes, and you will have to pay the school fees besides. And yet, the private schools here don't really make much. They need the all-out support from the parents. Unlike the private schools in the Philippines where they have hordes of manangs and manongs to man the cafeteria, clean the classrooms, tend to the gardens and guard the gates, the private schools here, or at least in the case of St. Charles, they have the administrators, the teachers and a solitary janitor.
So has the school done away with the cafeteria? Not at all. The parents take turns to prepare the kids' lunch trays and brace themselves when the hall reverberates with the little hungry children's mad dash for food. So you see, Alma, with her work, and her fun, and the coming from and going to all of Aubrey's classes, has to render volunteer work for Wednesday lunch. How's that?
Sometimes, I still can't reconcile the Alma I am getting to know now with the Alma I've known from 20 years back... the Alma who grew up being waited on hand and foot, the Alma who only wet her hands when she washes them, the Alma who, to spite a sales clerk who thought she didn't have enough money to buy a Gucci purse, bought the Gucci purse and a bag to boot. Now, the Guccis and all that pizzazz are gone. It's Aubrey, first and foremost.
Simply put, she has indeed become a person I truly admire.
To end this entry, one quote comes to mind, in resonance with the dedicated mothering Alma is giving to Aubrey... a quote that puts Aubrey's developing years in a nutshell.
'Life is raw material. We are artisans. We can sculpt our existence into something beautiful, or debase it into ugliness. It's in our hands.' - Cathy Better
Last weekend, I slept over at Alma's house. She picked me up on Saturday afternoon and hauled me over to her daughter, Aubrey's, classmate's house for a birthday party. It was a nice party and it was a nice house, if a bit on the ornate side. But hey, what do I know anyway? I've got nothing. Each and every kid I saw there was Filipino, accompanied by their Filipino moms, three of whom were nurses, including Alma.
After the party, we brought Aubrey to her grandma's house for a sleepover with her cousins who were visiting from LA. We did a few errands, had dinner with her hubby, Cesar at Korea House, did a little shopping. We went home, I made her a tray of tiramisu while she did three preceptorship reports, which were to be submitted when she goes on duty Sunday night. We probably turned in at 1 am.
Long day? Yes, for mother and daughter, since that morning, they've also been to Aubrey's swimming class.
Sunday morning, Alma was up early and on the computer again for another project she was doing for UC Davies... that, and doing the laundry, preparing Aubrey's practice test for her coming exams in her Karate class and making her daughter's schedule of activities for the month. By 2 pm, she had to have her nap before going on the graveyard shift, which she was doing 3 nights in a row. On her way to work, she dropped me off at her mom's house where I'm staying and managed to snatch a hug and kiss from her daughter. Poor kid. Her mom's lipstick was all over her face when she was done with her.
So what's the point of all these? I guess I am just so amazed with Alma's dedicated involvement in Aubrey's activities without giving up things for herself. Not her career, not her gym, not her piano lessons, and not her pamper haven where she regularly has her facials and foot spas.
And just what are Aubrey's activities, you might ask. Well, for one thing, she has Karate classes twice a week, where she has figured first place in each and every competition she has joined. There's Spanish class, swimming class, piano lessons, gymnastics and SCORE twice a week.
Tough, you say? Well, the kid is enjoying it. I had a conversation with her this morning. I was telling her she was going to be so busy these coming weeks there would be no time for TV. You know what she said? 'I don't really watch TV all that much. I've got better things to do.'
Oh I guess it could get a bit confusing sometimes. Like the time when she was doing a kick in Karate class and her instructor had to call her attention. 'Aubrey, you are not in gymnastics. Don't point your toes!' But there's no confusion as to what kind of person this little girl is growing up to be. She may be taking first place in her Karate competitions but she hates sparring. Ask her why and she will say, 'I don't like hurting anyone.'
Her parents take her to each and everyone of these classes and she doesn't even take a school bus to school. Well, I don't think Saint Charles Borromeo School has a school bus, anyway.
Alma told me how the expenses add up when you send your kid in a private school hereabouts. I learned that people are taxed for the public schools so the kids can go to school for free. But sending your kid to a private school doesn't exempt you from those taxes, and you will have to pay the school fees besides. And yet, the private schools here don't really make much. They need the all-out support from the parents. Unlike the private schools in the Philippines where they have hordes of manangs and manongs to man the cafeteria, clean the classrooms, tend to the gardens and guard the gates, the private schools here, or at least in the case of St. Charles, they have the administrators, the teachers and a solitary janitor.
So has the school done away with the cafeteria? Not at all. The parents take turns to prepare the kids' lunch trays and brace themselves when the hall reverberates with the little hungry children's mad dash for food. So you see, Alma, with her work, and her fun, and the coming from and going to all of Aubrey's classes, has to render volunteer work for Wednesday lunch. How's that?
Sometimes, I still can't reconcile the Alma I am getting to know now with the Alma I've known from 20 years back... the Alma who grew up being waited on hand and foot, the Alma who only wet her hands when she washes them, the Alma who, to spite a sales clerk who thought she didn't have enough money to buy a Gucci purse, bought the Gucci purse and a bag to boot. Now, the Guccis and all that pizzazz are gone. It's Aubrey, first and foremost.
Simply put, she has indeed become a person I truly admire.
To end this entry, one quote comes to mind, in resonance with the dedicated mothering Alma is giving to Aubrey... a quote that puts Aubrey's developing years in a nutshell.
'Life is raw material. We are artisans. We can sculpt our existence into something beautiful, or debase it into ugliness. It's in our hands.' - Cathy Better
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