THANK YOU, GOD


Nobody would have known, except Papa of course, that I had to go through the holidays with this really big chunk on my shoulder.

Last October, when I went for my regular quarterly check-up (which went well by the way cause my A1c is finally, finally within normal range), I mentioned to my doctor that the nodule on my thyroid gland seemed to be bigger than usual. So he said, 'Let's check it out.'

I had to have a thyroid ultrasound but so many things got in the way that I wasn't able to schedule it until early December. When the result came out, my doctor said that yes, it was a bit bigger but the more emergent thing is that there was evidence of calcification in the gland. Apparently, this is indicative of malignancy. So the following week, he scheduled me for a fine needle thyroid biopsy. Grossly put, they poked a needle in my neck... not once, but three times! Hah! I'm a toughie.

That was on the 27th of December. I wasn't going to know the result until the 4th of January. Which meant I had to cross over to the new year with this vague sense of foreboding. Tough luck, huh? In my mind, I was already rearranging my life... trying to cinch loose ends, making sure my schedule made space so that I'm able to catch up in keeping everything in order, taking an inventory of my resources so that whatever transition is going to happen will happen with the least bit of nuisance.

In the exercise of pragmatism, and to help calm me down, I worked. In my line of work, it is inevitable that I put other people's pains and troubles before mine and as cliche-ish as it may sound, it was such a balm. And I was grateful for it. I felt really big having dealt with my trepidation this way than dumping it on everybody else and ruining their holidays as well. But I digress...

So come the fourth, the big day, the judgment day. I was trying to read signs, trying to see if anything was amiss or on the other end of the continuum, if anything was too perfect, kind of like the calm before the storm. I could read nothing. Everything seemed, in fact, too watered down considering what was going on inside of me.

'No cancer cells seen.'

Once again, the dog's bark is tougher that its bite.

So off I went to spend the rest of the day in the spa.

Have a happy new year and a good life.